Routines and Reverse Psychology
by kaleidoscope heart
Summary: James is an idiot. Lily is frustrated. And Sirius just might be smarter than they all give him credit for. JPLE


**AN: **Yay! My first Lily/James story! I actually had this idea ages ago but it wasoverrun by other plot bunnies and just recently rediscovered. It's fairly short, just about two or three chapters at max. Please review and the second part will come quickly! All reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**Routines and Reverse Psychology**

_It has become a routine_, he thought, and not a very good one at that: everyday he asks her to go out with him, and everyday she says no. Before there had been small variances, such as how he would ask her or the amount of anger in her response, but not even that was different anymore. Each day, with his enthusiasm never wavering, he asked her. And each day, her boredom always apparent, she said no. It was that simple.

James thought it was strange that they didn't even have a relationship and yet, somehow, it was still in a rut.

Sirius thought he was a bit mad, and overall James would have to agree. The problem was, Sirius (even Remus and Peter too) still believed that James had some sort of choice in the matter involving Lily Evans.

That couldn't have been farther from the truth.

Even if he had wanted to stop asking her (and there were times, in a very un-Gryffindor state of self-pity and defeat when he wanted to do just that), he couldn't. The words just came of their own accord, whether he wanted them to or not. Sometimes he didn't even realize he'd asked her until she was answering (or, more often than not, _screaming_). He would open his mouth to say something perfectly sensible and in their stead the words, "Go out with me, Evans?" would just float right out. There was, for example, the time when he had announced the answer to McGonagall's question on transfigured toads to be, quite simply, _"Lily…"_ Most of the class had burst out laughing… all except for Sirius (who had been watching the dreamy look on his face with not a little fear), McGonagall (who thankfully chose to pretend he'd been attempting to skive the answer off a classmate rather than proclaim his undying love) and Lily herself (who did not speak to him for three weeks afterwards except for a brisk _NO!_ to his daily question).

Another part of James, though slightly disgusted by the lack of self control he had around Lily, was used to the way things were and weren't too eager to change them. It had become part of his life now, as integrated as brushing his teeth and combing his hair. Not only that, but it was a part that included her, and he was loathe to give any of her up.

And what would happen if he stopped? He often wondered. It would be like the world suddenly changing its spin; like the Death Eaters suddenly deciding that Muggle borns might not be that bad. James was convinced that something horrible would happen if he stopped… he half expected He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named himself to crawl out of the floor, red eyes gleaming and hiss, "What? So James Potter has given up?"

Ok, so maybe that was a bit much. James may have been just the slightest bit egotistical, but even he drew the line at the idea of the "Dark Lord" taking a personal interest in his love life.

"Eh, mate?"

James blinked, suddenly realizing that he was in the corridor outside of Transfiguration. He had been leaning against a doorway waiting for the others when he had spotted her and his thoughts had suddenly spun away. Was someone trying to talk to him?

"Oi, James!" A voice shouted in his ear and James jumped, glaring at Sirius while he rubbed his now ringing ear.

"Thanks, Padfoot. Now if you don't mind, maybe next time you could get a little closer and really put some force behind that shout. I've actually still got a little hearing in this ear that I think you could take care of for me."

Sirius looked at him in disbelief, an image which was mirrored in Remus and Peter.

"I've been trying to talk to you for like five minutes, mate," Sirius said, and James looked to Remus who said, "Honestly."

"You had that bloody look on your face again, too," Sirius continued but James held up his hand, stopping him before he could launch into his familiar tirade. He knew where the conversation was going… it was every bit as routine as what happened between him and Lily. First Sirius told him he was being daft… James didn't argue. Then he asked him what was wrong with him… James didn't have an answer. Invariably, Sirius would say something nasty about Lily (which he didn't mean) and the two would row until Remus pulled them apart.

Apparently, James wasn't the only one who didn't feel like going through this particular routine today, because Sirius simply sighed and threw his hands in the air. He looked defeated.

"Well, get on with it then," he said, and James looked at him, confused.

"Get on with what?" he asked. Sirius didn't answer but instead cleared his throat and turned, shouting loud enough for the entire hall to hear:

"Lily Evans, will you go out with James Potter?" he screamed, and James sank back against the wall a little. Giggles broke out and James waved sheepishly to a group of third year girls that were staring at him.

"No," came the terse reply, clipped but not surprised.

"There then," Sirius said, smiling with his hands out, as if he had just done a very great thing indeed. "Now we can all get on with our day."

They probably would have had their daily row anyways if Remus hadn't pushed them both inside the classroom, a group of their fellow seventh years trailing behind. McGonagall, who had appeared to have heard the shouting in the hallway, was giving them stern looks as they took their seats.

Ah yes. Embarrassment, defeat, a few smart arsed quips from Sirius and a stern look from McGonagall… throw in an argument with some Slytherins and he could pack it in for the day. Sighing deeply, James laid his head in his hands and slumped down further into his seat. Remus put a hand on his shoulder (James could tell it was Remus because no comment came with it. Remus was the king of quiet encouragement) while the other students filled the room.

"Is he all right, then?" a voice asked from above him. He jerked up out of his defeated position and looked at the familiar girl with the amazing hair and eyes. Normally Lily either shouted at him or pretended like he didn't exist. Bored concern had to be some sort of improvement.

"Oh me? Fine. Yes. Fine. Why do you ask? I'm fine."

He winced. He hadn't known he'd had all those words inside of him until they had just pounced right off his tongue like that. What was wrong with him? He talked to girls all the time and didn't do that… what was it about this girl (a girl that not only didn't find him attractive but also seemed to actively hate him) that made him come undone that way?

Sirius gave James a disgusted look but Remus merely smiled, patting James's arm while addressing Lily.

"Oh yes, no need to worry. He'll be fine. Actual death by embarrassment is so rare these days."

Lily raised an eyebrow at that before finally settling her vision back on James. Her green eyes sharpened, keenly observing him as if she didn't believe it could be true.

"You? Embarrassed by that bit in the hall? And here I thought you had no shame left."

James shifted in his chair, shrugging carelessly (or so he hoped).

"Came as a bit of a surprise to me too actually," he said, and gave her a wicked smile.

She had opened her mouth to say something quite nasty, all were sure, when the clear voice of McGonagall silenced everyone.

"Miss Evans!"

Lily turned to see the accompanying look. James couldn't help but feel grateful to see the trademark stern look directed at someone else for a change, even if it was the girl he liked.

Lily took her cue and scurried to her seat next to Alice Archer, a fellow Gryffindor she had been friends with since first year. Any excitement stirred up by seeing the Head Girl scolded into her chair was soon forgotten as the class readied itself for another routine (read: boring) day in Transfiguration.

* * *

"I've got an idea," Sirius said quietly, while the Marauder's were on their way to the great hall later on that day. James was ahead of them, moping of course, and didn't even notice him speak. Remus did, however, and immediately buried his head in his hands and murmured, "Oh no. Not again. No." 

"Shurrup you," Sirius replied, only vaguely annoyed. Peter would listen. Peter always listened. Truth be told, he was afraid not to.

As if knowing that thought, Peter poked his head around and looked at Remus (who was still holding his face and whimpering obnoxiously), then to Sirius.

"What's up?" he asked, seeming scared to know.

"I've got an idea," Sirius repeated. The look of fear on Peter's face was so real that he almost hit him.

"Stop doing that!" he shouted, and then lowered his voice when he realized he had almost distracted James back to the land of the living. When he saw the moping boy's gaze turn back to his shuffling feet, Sirius rounded on Remus and Peter, hissing, "You two act like I've never had a good idea before!"

Remus just shook his head sadly and continued to mutter, all the while Peter shuffled along, looking quite terrified.

* * *

"I need a word with you, Evans," Sirius said as he approached the prefect who was currently curled up in a chair in the common room. She appeared to be waiting for someone. 

Without looking up from her book, Lily tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and said, "I believe you just had seven, Black."

Sirius looked at her a moment, counted back (yes, there had been seven words in that sentence but how in Merlin's name had she counted them so quickly?) then decided to move on. He knew, smart as he was, that the last thing he needed to be was trapped in a battle of wits with Lily Evans.

"Well, see Evans, it's like this: I've got a proposition to make to you. One that I don't think you'll want to refuse."

* * *

"Oh really?" Lily asked, her eyes wandering over the top of her book to give Black an appraising look. Though she complained often (and loudly, to all that would listen) that she just didn't _get_ what the world saw in the Marauder's, tonight she thought she could see it a little in Sirius. He had that gleam in his eye, that familiar look that spelled trouble to students and professors alike. It was a look she had seen in James's eye as well, but not so often as of late. In fact, compared to his usual, trouble-making self, James had been downright subdued for the past few weeks. Lily wasn't sure that she liked that either. If she had learned anything from her years at Hogwarts it was this: a Marauder was only quiet when he was plotting, and their plotting never boded well for Lily Evans. 

So, a proposition from Sirius Black?

"I'm not interested," she said, before immediately returning to her book. She heard a sigh above her and watched as two slim fingers pulled down the pages to make eye contact, which she dutifully ignored. Finally, when a whole hand covered her page, she looked up at the owner of the hand and gave him her best Head Girl glare. Unfortunately, Sirius (as his school record might suggest) was impervious to warning glares of any kind.

"I think you might be interested in this proposition. It involves James…" Sirius started, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Lily's face turned red and Sirius wisely went on. "And Me. And Remus and Peter."

If he thought this would help, he was sorely mistaken. Lily slammed the book shut on his fingers and he screamed out in pain. The rest of the Marauders had been particularly bad as of late (almost as if, without realizing it, they were attempting to make up for James's sudden withdrawal) and she wasn't about to listen to any plot where Sirius Black tried to talk her into an orgy, joking or otherwise.

"No! You've got me all wrong!" Sirius screamed when she pulled out her wand. She hesitated and he took advantage of it, letting out a deep breath. "Merlin's beard, woman! You are paranoid!"

Lily gave him an incredulous look, sweeping her hair over one shoulder.

"Paranoid? And who do you think has made me that way? You and your little friends with your curse throwing and your jelly-jinxing and your changing students' hair color!"

Sirius softened, smiling as if at a fond memory.

"You have to admit, Snivilous with green hair was pretty great. You could barely see the gre--- hey hey hey! Wand down!" he finished with a scream.

"Ok, you've got five seconds to explain yourself. Five… four…"

"All right, all right. Seesh… So I've got an idea how to make ol' Prongs- erm, James- leave you alone."

Lily looked at him long and hard, finally lowering her wand before asking, "What are you on about?"

Sirius, looking as if he thought he might be in the clear, turned on his most charming smile.

"Reverse psychology," he said, spreading his hands out as if all should be clear.

"What…?"

"Reverse psychology. It's a muggle term for when you convince someone to do something they don't want to do by making them think that they do want to do it."

"I know what reverse psychology is, you great prat," Lily said, exasperated. "I'm asking you how you think that would help me."

"Well…" Sirius started, flopping himself down on one of the couches next to the fireplace and gesturing for her to do the same. He no longer seemed scared but now had the air about him of a man in control. "James is always asking you out, right? Everyday, it never fails. Right?"

Lily looked at him, her expression now one of befuddled wonder. Sliding back into her chair, she nodded.

"Yeah. You know, I don't even think he means to sometimes… he'll just pass by and won't even stop what he's doing. Just a quick, 'Go out with me, Evans?' from him and a, 'Death first,' from me and that's it. We both just go on with our day like nothing happened."

Sirius had seen this first hand and knew it to be true. Shaking his head (but not able to wipe the disgusted look from his face), he continued.

"Right. Yes. Like that. The thing is, I don't think he means to either. In fact, I don't think he can stop. And I'd really like for him to because, no offense to you, but its driving me mad."

Lily looked at him, her gaze distrustful.

"So what do you suggest I do then? It's not as if I'm some veela who has him under my spell! I've said no a hundred different ways and still he asks."

Sirius leaned forward on the couch, palms on his knees. Though he tried to appear innocent, his smile was absolutely wicked.

"Try something new then. Say yes."

Lily sputtered; she could feel herself doing it and not even the smug look on Sirius's face could make her stop. Say yes to Potter? After all those years of vehement denial and anger and wasted energy? Say yes to the most infuriating wizard to walk the earth? Even if she did find James the slightest bit attractive (and wild thestrials couldn't have pulled that admission from her), she wasn't about to encourage the madness he had been causing for years.

"Excuse me?" she said, and Sirius's hands went up in self defense. Without even meaning to, she had stood and raised her wand at him again. Then everything clicked. Of course, how stupid had she been? Since when did Sirius Black pop over for a conversation with her and why hadn't she realized what he was doing earlier?

"All right then, Black. Where is he?" She said, looking around and ignoring Sirius's look of apparent confusion. "I see what you two are doing… let me guess: the plan was to talk to me first and then have him jump out from behind a chair and ask me again, scaring me out of my wits in the process. So clever, you two."

"Lily, James isn't here," Sirius said, and when no one popped out laughing she began to wonder if he wasn't telling the truth.

Merlin, they had made her paranoid.

"He didn't send me here, either. He doesn't even know that I've come here to talk to you. The truth is, I've got a great plan and it's going to end with everyone happy."

Lily looked at him a long time, eyes unsure, wondering if she should trust him. She supposed it was awful suspicious that he was James's best friend, but she also knew as well as anybody that Sirius had been growing old of his friend's infatuation with Lily for a while now. She also thought that she should have been a little put off by how badly he didn't want her dating James, but that was a silly thing to worry about considering _she _didn't want her dating James either. Finally, when she had no arguments left her, she sighed and lowered her wand.

"Well, go on then," she said, throwing herself back into her chair. She still wasn't sure she had reason to trust Sirius, but thought it might be worth a listen nonetheless. "What's this brilliant plan of yours?"


End file.
